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Paintings By the Sun-- A New Parable God Gave Me

Jun. 19th, 2008 | 02:36 am

Lord, write the book of my life. Let your Son/Sun bring light to radiate and color my world.

I overlooked my campus and saw a Mighty Cross of Amazing Grace overlooking all. It gazed at the white "S" amidst the green astro turf canvass. The crowd, too numerous to count, seemed as little, colored, dotted paints of

light to the Mighty Cross, but at the same time each individual speck amounted to everything in the way of importance.

If He looked close enoughand He did, He could make out me. I was in the stands amidst the crowd.

Then He astonished me, the Lord handed me a cowbell. With this small instrument in hand, I was to direct the crowd to a large Cross overhead-- the Sun Himself. Many people feared that if they got too close to the Sun, they would burn up. They were right. They couldn't even get a complete picture of the Sun from a distance and needed sunglasses to simply gaze at Him.

But as an instrument of God, I had some the crowd's attention. I was playing my part with the cowbell-- letting them know they needed new bodies to approach the Sun. The individuals in the crowd would have to die to self just as the Mighty Cross/the Sun had died for them-- that they might start a new life in communion one with the Sun.

Lord, God, I don't just want to paint a pretty picture of words. I want You to write Yourself through me. 

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Jun. 18th, 2008 | 08:08 pm

If you've read my thoughts on paper recently, you'd know that I plan on doing something different this summer. I don't want life to just pass by meaninglessly. But what can I do in my own strength. In my human pride, plans are futile. I'm destined to go nowhere fast. Already, a big part of this summer has passed by that started around May 10th. If I don't do something DIFFERENT fast, just one thing will happen. I will age gracelessly.

The piece I need in the equation is God. He is the solution to my problem. But how do I go about seeking Him for help? Do I do it traditionally by reading my Bible? Do I do it Charismatically by having a prophetic conversation with God? Do I do it musically with a worship song and a dance? Do I scream out with my all until the police come? (Well they probably wouldn't come in this apartment complex.)

God doesn't want some specific God seeking technique to be used by me to unlock the door to His Kingdom. He wants my heart. And I doubt He cares how He gets it as long as He gets it willingly. So I'm going to approach God and plead my case with all of the above. Starting right now. Bye.

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Jun. 11th, 2008 | 03:34 am


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What does true Revival look like?

Jun. 11th, 2008 | 02:43 am

Pronunciation –noun
1.restoration to life, consciousness, vigor, strength, etc.
2.restoration to use, acceptance, or currency: the revival of old customs.
3.a new production of an old play.
4.a showing of an old motion picture.
5.an awakening, in a church or community, of interest in and care for matters relating to personal religion.
6.an evangelistic service or a series of services for the purpose of effecting a religious awakening: to hold a revival.
7.the act of reviving.
8.the state of being revived.
9.Law. the reestablishment of legal force and effect.

I believe that in this age there are many different beliefs within the Church about what Revival is. This video "Revival Hymn" captures what true revival is, uses verses to bring repentance, and explains what qualities do not make up true Christianity. It discusses the infiltration of humanism into fundamental Christianity as well. It brought me to my knees in tears several times having to pause the video. I believe that simply watching this entire video will prompt some to commit their lives to Christ. Give it a chance! (It's 35 minutes of non-boredom audio sermon with pictures in the background. Make sure you watch it all the way through because there are a couple minute long musical pauses.)

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Another Dream

Jun. 7th, 2008 | 10:36 am

I had a dream last night that I went to visit the preschool I used to work at.  I visited former co-workers and kids.  Everyone was glad to talk to me.  When I talked to a new worker, she said that workers said, "We got to hire him back.  He deserves it."

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To Overcome: A Dream I had.

Jun. 7th, 2008 | 10:32 am

Yesterday at 6:33am |
(Tell me your impression. If you need any clarification because it was my dream, I'll give it. Please forgive me foir using my imagery in both the singular and plural noun form in the same piece of writing.)

Snakes and Alligators. All your fears rolled into one. Walking along in a far away location with close to no one around to help you. You see the long green shapes on the ground and walls. There are few. Then quickly there are many. The amoeba like figure splits continually and grows bigger. They aim to consume you by wrapping around you and squeezing.

The crowd presses onward. They want your head on a platter. They don’t support you in the area you need the most support and the mob mentality takes over. Little words and big words make up the proportions of the body of the snakes and alligators figure. They are coming closer. You’ve made a big mistake you hear; it’s time to come clean or avoid the consequences. It’s like you made a move that is highly controversial. You have done something along the lines of Olympic fraud to anger the crowd. But that’s not really what you did. It just angers the crowd as if you did in their all-consuming corporate way. Even though their individual lives are little affected by their supposed accusations. They are hopping mad ready to take you down.

Mixed in the dream you are making a difference in the lives of children and people don’t see your paradigm. You have something special to offer. Related to writing and spoken word communications and downright love. You explain to a child the words of your poem written especially for them and especially for all children as individuals:

Oh little writer you.
Don’t try to impress me.
L E T I T F L O W…

Words disperse like rain drops,
On the hot desert sand dunes,

Little is known about how they got there,
Or where they came from,
But the parched earth hungrily soaks up the moisture just the same.

Yes, they all have something to offer that the world needs-- just like you.

The mob has come. This is the end. With the strength of many hands working together, they begin to carry you off. As a close relative warns you to consider their cry before it’s too late to avoid going down, you’re determined. You notice that the people in the mob are composed of people you know. These people are dear to you.

But somehow you know you will overcome. You get the song “Lose Yourself,” by Eminem into your head playing over and over.

“You better lose yourself in the music the moment. You better never let it go, go, go. You only get one chance do not miss your chance to….: This opportunity comes only once in a lifetime.”

Then you realize, this is not your moment. It’s your one moment for Christ to shine through you. You will overcome the mob. The snakes will be subdued and your creator will get all the honor.

This is a dream I in fact did have and it all makes sense to me. The mob’s intentions are exaggerated, but the multiplicative effect and push to subdue that make up the words and actions of the mob are not. It is in fact the parallel of being labeled to have a disability. Not one that is considered minor, but one that in fact emotionally subdues your entire life from existing. I long to climb out of the shell-- to resist the push of worldly consensus that leads towards unable. Each negative word spoken, each label given, by doctors, relatives, and society, is a part of the whole of the snakes and alligators figure.

(Though there was many times no ill intention, these labels and words were spawned by the ultimate snake imagery in literature-- Satan himself.)

Suppression by the mob leads to living no life at all. It will hurt, but I must overcome with Christ’s strength and do what is believed to be out of my paradigm—to achieve my basic dreams for God’s purpose. In the future you will see me work in an orphanage in India. You will see each step along the way met with harsh disagreement. And you will see God glorified through it.

2 Corinthians 12:9
“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

Philippians 4:13
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Proverbs 3:5-7
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path. Be not wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and depart from evil.”

Psalms 91:9-16
" If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Romans 8:37-39
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I am more convinced more now then I have ever been that I will overcome. Thank you God for the dream and the interpretation.

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Idleness and Work

Jun. 5th, 2008 | 06:45 am

In my limited Bible studying lately, I've been noticing what God has to say about work and idleness.  Not everyone who reads this knows that I'm on disability because the government believes I cannot work.  I know in my heart that I can work at least part time--probably not full because of my sleep problems.  Spiritually, that puts me in a bad situation given these verses.  I had no idea how much the Bible values work ethic.  It doesn't mention it just a little!  I realize that I need to at least volunteer and build my way up to a paid position-- to not be dependent on anyone.  I need to work at it with all my heart in whatever I do and not sit around collecting checks. 

Unfortunately, as the years of disability have progressed, I've lost confidence in myself.  I used to be very confident in my ability to work with and teach children.  I graduated from MSU with a degree in Elementary Education and worked three jobs with children for a total of over 4 years.  I've volunteered many hours at a homeless shelter for families. 

I need to have a plan now after being beaten up mentally and spiritually.  I need to gain confidence that I can be strong despite my weakness through Christ's power.  I need my self-esteem back.

It was easy to go through life when I initially got into the top college of education in the country.  It was easy when I had scholarships, a brilliant resume, and was in the best shape of my life running with a college cross-country team.  Life was exciting and unchallenging then.  I felt like I was constantly climbing to the top-- even impressing my teachers.

But I had an attitude.  I was rebellious and had no humility.  I was loyal to nothing but self-gain.  Now that I've matured in that respect, I'm at the position of having nothing but my friends and God.  My resume has a big gap in it from when I was fired.  I sleep four hours a night and then fall asleep at random during the day.  I try to busy a non-productive life with fun activities.

After awhile, it all becomes meaningless.  I'm not having fun anymore.  I'm always waiting for the next moment for someone else or something else to entertain me.  I'm unoccupied and torn inside.  This is not the life God means for me to live. 

He has something bigger for me.  He sees potential.  He sees me one day breaking free of disability completely and working in an orphanage in India.  I really believe it's possible.  But do I believe enough?  Can I see myself using my gifts to tutor unfortunate kids with computer technology, tutor English as a second language complete with reading and writing, and to provide the basic needs of love and spiritual guidance? 

It seems like a long-shot from my vantage point now.  But do I truly believe the Bible when it says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me?"  Do I really believe God when He says He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future? 

It feels like I'm old compared to most of you.  It feels like life has passed me by.  I need prayer for my life to revolutionized whether my condition is healed or not.  Please lift me up in your prayers.  If you have any advice for me, I'll take it.  And take these verses to heart about work and idleness in your own life:

Colossians 3:23

23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Proverbs 24:32-34

 32 I applied my heart to what I observed
       and learned a lesson from what I saw:

 33 A little sleep, a little slumber,
       a little folding of the hands to rest-

 34 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
       and scarcity like an armed man. [a]

1 Thessalonians 4:11

  11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

2 Thessalonians 3:6-15

 6In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching[f] you received from us. 7For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, 8nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. 9We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. 10For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."

 11We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat. 13And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

 14If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. 15Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

God Bless,


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Animated Shorts Movie Collecting

May. 24th, 2008 | 02:25 am


1. Walt Disney Treasures - The Complete Pluto Volume 1  (DVD)
2. Walt Disney Treasures - Silly Symphonies                         (DVD) 
3. Walt Disney Treasures - More Silly Symphonies               (DVD)
4. Pixar Short Films Collection Volume 1                                 (DVD)
5. The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie (Compilation of Animated Shorts)       (DVD)
6. The 50 Greatest Cartoons: As Selected by 1,000 Animation Professionals  (Hardcover)
6. Chuck Amuck: The Life and Times of an Animated Cartoonist                         (Hardcover)


1, Walt Disney Treasures - Mickey Mouse in Living Color  (DVD)   (Available at this location.) $60

20 Greatest Cartoons (30 Minutes or Less, From the 50 Greatest List)
Order  ↓Title  ↓Studio  ↓Year  ↓Director  ↓
1        What's Opera, Doc? Warner Bros.1957Chuck Jones
2        Duck AmuckWarner Bros.1953Chuck Jones
3    The Band ConcertDisney1935Wilfred Jackson
4    Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2th CenturyWarner Bros.1953Chuck Jones
5One Froggy EveningWarner Bros.1956Chuck Jones
6Gertie the DinosaurWinsor McCay1914Winsor McCay
7Red Hot Riding HoodMGM1943Tex Avery
8Porky in WackylandWarner Bros.1938Bob Clampett
9Gerald McBoing BoingUPA1951Robert Cannon
10King-Size CanaryMGM1947Tex Avery
11     Three Little PigsDisney1933Burt Gillett
12Rabbit of SevilleWarner Bros.1950Chuck Jones
13Steamboat WillieDisney1928Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks
14The Old MillDisney1937Wilfred Jackson
15Bad Luck BlackieMGM1949Tex Avery
16The Great Piggy Bank RobberyWarner Bros.1946Bob Clampett
17Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the SailorFleischer1936Dave Fleischer
18The Skeleton DanceDisney1929Walt Disney
19Snow White (1933 cartoon)Fleischer1933Dave Fleischer
20Minnie the MoocherFleischer1932Dave Fleischer
21 Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs Warner Bros. 1943 Bob Clampett
22 Der Fuehrer's Face Disney 1943 Jack Kinney
23 Little Rural Riding Hood MGM 1949 Tex Avery
24 The Tell-Tale Heart UPA 1953 Ted Parmelee
25 The Big Snit National Film Board of Canada 1985 Richard Condie
26 Brave Little Tailor Disney 1938 Bill Roberts
27 Clock Cleaners Disney 1937 Ben Sharpsteen
28 Northwest Hounded Police MGM 1946 Tex Avery
29 Toot, Whistle, Plunk and Boom Disney 1953 Ward Kimball and Charles A. Nichols
30 Rabbit Seasoning Warner Bros. 1952 Chuck Jones
31 The Scarlet Pumpernickel Warner Bros. 1950 Chuck Jones
32 The Cat Came Back National Film Board Of Canada 1988 Cordell Barker
33 Superman Fleischer 1941 Dave Fleischer
34 You Ought To Be in Pictures Warner Bros. 1940 Friz Freleng
35 Ali Baba Bunny Warner Bros. 1957 Chuck Jones
36 Feed the Kitty Warner Bros. 1952 Chuck Jones
37 Bimbo's Initiation Fleischer 1931 Dave Fleischer
38 Bambi Meets Godzilla International Rocketship 1969 Marv Newland
39 Little Red Riding Rabbit Warner Bros. 1941 Friz Freleng
40 Peace on Earth MGM 1939 Hugh Harman
41 Rooty Toot Toot UPA 1952 John Hubley
42 The Cat Concerto MGM 1947 William Hanna and Joseph Barbera
43 The Barber of Seville Lantz 1944 James Culhane
44 The Man Who Planted Trees National Film Board Of Canada 1987 Frédéric Back
45 Book Revue Warner Bros. 1946 Bob Clampett
46 Quasi at the Quackadero Cruikshank 1975 Sally Cruikshank
47 Corny Concerto Warner Bros. 1943 Bob Clampett
48 The Unicorn in the Garden UPA 1953 William T. Hurtz
49 The Dover Boys Warner Bros. 1942 Chuck Jones
50 Felix in Hollywood Sullivan 1923 Otto Messmer

I'm going to watch all of these on YouTube when I get a chance.

1.  For the BIrds - Pixar 2000 Academy Award Winner
2.  Lend a Paw - Disney 1941 Academy Award Winner
3.  Geri's Game - Pixar 1997 Academy Award Winner

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Alone in the Desert

May. 9th, 2008 | 10:56 am

There's something more that I'm looking for. There's a fulfillment that I have not yet reached. There's a boredom that idles from a lack of purpose. Meaninglessness oozes as the days ensue. Entertain me cruel world, I cry in monotone. When friends are in session, I begin to forget the existence of an apathetic life. When the latest media blares in surround sound, I'm saturated with temporary eye candy. Then, as quickly as the tsunami of involvement came, it vanishes, leaving me in the desert to fall asleep-- not wanting to awake. How do I walk through this sand of life dehydrated with no soul around to share the burden? Do I sprout wings and fly off the pages of self-pity?

A stranger in the distance calls to me. Wait, not that strange, I have bad eye sight. Usually, we only say hi in passing. Usually, I only come his way to beg when I am in desperate need. He is always off in the distance to offer his friendship. I can see him whenever if I look hard enough. Apart from me you can do nothing, he always says. I've always taken it like the many grains of sand around me. How can that help? Frequently, I just look for the next mirage. The bliss dazzles my eyes and depletes me like an icy fresh can of Mountain Dew.

And then I found her or her or her. Maybe a girl can make my life complete. I see her not off in the distance. She is very tangible. Riding on her camel. I want one of those. Maybe I could find a place of meaning if I rode her camel with her here, there, anywhere. But sooner or later, I see the look on her face. She's famished too. We are in dire straights and she doesn't know the "stranger." In fact, she might actually drive me away from him in my time of need. Sorry, I think for the sake of us both, I'll have to leave you behind in the desert.

Stranger can you hear me? Look what I gave up to know you better. Tell me what is the secret of fulfillment. Where can I find the spring of life and meaning.

In this life you will many times be famished and wonder where your feet are treading. Trust in me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways ackniwledge me and I will make your paths straight.

How can that come about? I ponder.

I can hear your thoughts, he replies. But don't worry, I've always been able to. I know your experiences personally and have your best interests at heart. In fact, I walked through the desert myself on your behalf.

Oh yes. I read once, "In that he himself has suffered, being tempted, he is able to aid those who are tempted." You can help me stay on track. You can help me keep my focus off the dazzling lights, the mirage-- though a little bit of entertainment isn't bad.

Yes. Now you are catching on. I gave you eyes didn't I? In fact, I the stranger gave you everything. Dan, I am your father.

We walked and talked. When I grew tired, he carried me. And one day, he took up in the clouds to show me a true utopia-- better than any mirage.

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Apr. 20th, 2008 | 09:08 pm

If you don't have something productive to post, don't post anything at all. That being said, I'll hold my tongue today.

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